December 31, 2017

The Ones We Lose

There was no epic win to end the season, there was no Xmas miracle. Sacrificing a goat to Odin - and bathing in it's blood - doesn't always work, sometimes the Hand of Fate can't be forced. And, yet again, if you knew it was nearly impossible to win, if you prepared for it, it doesn't have to be too bad. You gave it your best, at the very least, you won't ever wonder if it could've happened. Move on.

We've all been here...

I looked up and I saw a familiar figure - a couple more wrinkles, a littler balder, much fatter -. It was him, it had to be him, or, at the very best, it was the shell of what he used to be. The person inside that shell, that small, broken weakling, that's not even a shadow of the man that once lived there. It was all so clear, somewhere along the road, I had lost myself, for I am no longer the man in the mirror.

2016 was a shitty year, we all agree on that, right? I mean, so many celebs died... - Carrie Fisher, I miss you the most! -, a racist giant orange ape won the POTUS elections, ISIS attacks, Brexit, and so much more... Well, 2017 was a pretty shitty year, too, ask Puerto Rico if you don't believe me. But, for me, as a Venezuelan, 2017 was brutal, arguably the worst year of my life. I'm talking about buying my girl an ice cream - a Wendy's Frosty to be specific - back in January that costed me 6000Bs, and today it's 120000Bs, yeah, that's how crazy and messed up things are over here. And, no, people are not making 20 times as much money now as they did back in January, three times, if anything. Insane.

And it's not just that, watching over 100 young people murdered during protests back in April; thousands of people leaving everyday never to return, trying luck in another land; crime rates on the rise... It's hard to keep finding reasons not to pack my things and leave. My family, my friends, and the fact that THIS IS MY FUCKING COUNTRY and I hate to think a group of commies will force me out of here. I don't believe everywhere out there is a paradise, that things are going to be great in another country just becase. I'm way more clever than that, there are issues, big issues, everywhere you go, but I doubt bigger than the ones we have here. I have a feeling this will be my last Holiday Season hugging the ones I love. But I honestly hope not. And I'm definitely not going to be an illegal alien, a prison is a prison, no matter how big or pretty. I'm not just gonna swap prisons.

A very Venezuelan way of saying "please"... Para que porfa!
You must think that I'm stupid, you must think that I'm a fool. You're not me, I don't recognize you. You let some girl - that is just that, a girl, nothing truly outstanding there - hurt you, twice. No, she didn't hurt you, she broke you, twice. The real you would've known better, the first time around he would've known, and there wouldn't have been a 2nd time. There's a difference between being cocky and being a fool. Who did this to you? Who did this to me? When - and how - did we become so different?

As I was writing this post I got a suggestion - from the best thing that happened to me during 2017 - of making it a letter for future me, and tho it might not be a letter, I hope David from a year from now can read this and find peace, I hope he becomes stronger, I hope he manages to learn from all the lessons I ignored this year. I hope he stops giving people that don't deserve it a second chance, I hope he remembers to put the ones he loves - and love him back - before the ones he'd like to be loved by. Hell, this is for you, mate:

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Dear David from one year from now,

I hope you managed to keep the things - and people - that were keeping you down, out of your life. I hope that you found peace, amidst the chaos, I know how much you enjoy that, I know calm and quiet always make you uneasy. I hope when you look up the mirror, you see yourself. Don't waste time being nice to those who wronged you this time, don't be a dick to those who love you either. You're 30 now, woot! Congratulations on filling this world with your awesomeness for another year! Don't rush into things just because of that, you're still young, there's still time. Remember, go for what you truly want.

I hope you're playing lots and lots of Battle for Azeroth, cause it sounds really cool! I hope it's not a disappointment! Don't ever stop doing the things you love, have fun, mate, you deserve all those things life gives you!

I hope you're not married, and definitely hope you have no kids - no, not even in the way -. I hope you keep doing what you love. Wherever you are, whoever you are with, whatever you're doing... I love you, mate.

PD: Do we still remember the little cunt? Hahahaha. I told you!
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This' the last post of 2017, and I am sorry that I didn't find time to write more. I always say it, but I'll work on it. I also think it's due time for a revamp, let's bring this blog to 2018 with a brand new look! I'll make a project out of it, tbt - and this is just between us! - I'm considering moving to Wordpress and a new .com domain! BUT! Don't count your chickens... It might take a while.

Happy New Year, everyone! Thanks for being one of the many things I loved about 2017 - and I loved a lot of things about it, it's just that writing complaints it's easier! -. See you all next year! May your days be long, and your hardships few!

You can't predict everything, you can't always win. But you can turn a defeat into a victory if you learn from it.

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