August 3, 2016

Get angry!



Hello readers, today I'm going to talk about a situation that changed my life for the best. Lately, I've been doing things in a different way, I stopped listening to that voice inside my head that repeatedly tells me to be nice, gentle, and to never lose my temper no matter how bad things get. You got a voice like that one too, right? I think we all do. It's time to mute it.

Bit of background! I'm the youngest of 9 siblings. My brothers and sisters are all over 10 years older than me, which meant that by the time I was 2, I was already an uncle. Now, there's one particular nephew that's always been really close to me, he's 19 and I'm 27, so the age gap isn't too big. We get along real nice, we love soccer and videogames, and we're somewhat similar in a general way.

The uncle-nephew relationship is a special one, and I'm quite sure most parents are often jealous of it. An uncle is somewhat of a father and he also is a friend. My nephew comes to me with problems he wouldn't tell my brother, and he knows that not only will I always be there for him and do what I can to help him, I'm also going to keep my mouth shut about it.

So, I've played the confidant, the buddy, the teammate, the teacher, the chaperone, the doctor, and countless other roles for my nephew. The way things worked between us for 17 years, is that I gave him advice whenever he needed one, and sometimes even when he didn't want to hear it. Makes sense, right? After all, I'm wiser, for being older if nothing else. I never expected, and I wasn't ready for it, was us switching sides.

You guys already know how crappy things have been lately for me, it hasn't changed much and, actually, it's got worse. The most recent slaps to my face were: first, my PC's graphic chip died, and, living in this country, I won't be able to get a new one anytime soon. Thing is, I used that PC for basically everything I do, so it was a really hard hit for me. Second, let me put it like this: "someone I used to really care for has feelings for someone I care for". I think that's self explanatory.

Off-topic: I need to share this! When she told me she liked him, she went and asked me "how would you feel about that?". I mean, what was I supposed to say? I wanted to say "Fuck you, that's not cool!", but I went for "It doesn't matter what I feel, if you like each other, I won't get in the way". Always the good guy...

Let's tie up! Nephew's on vacations, and I'm a freelance, so we see each other a lot lately, plus, we're both single at the moment, the result? We've crushed every multiplayer videogame we've found. A couple days ago it was Mario Kart 8, we were chilling, talking about all the stuff going on lately, eating junk food and snacks, all while kicking some online ass in our game. At some point I started down a dark path of self pity and sadness, and went on and on about how I would only have to adapt to it and things would get better. Out of the blue, interrupting me, my nephew asked me "Why!?". I stared at him while searching for words when he continued "a lot of stuff have gone wrong for you, stop accepting it or more things will continue to go wrong, you should not be sad, you should be angry". Speechless. Nothing, I had nothing. It was logical.

"You should be angry". No. I was sad, for sure, but angry? I couldn't afford being angry. "That's not what nice guys do" said the voice in my head. Why not? I figured it out!

We build this things in our head, this guidelines that rule over our actions, and we let them take control. Society, family, education, religion, you name it, they place these standards in us, telling us to keep in line, but that line is there because we allow it to be it there, it's not real. I'm not telling you to go crazy a become some jerks without a care for anything, just that, at the very least, you should allow yourselves to get angry.

I had to get angry, anger is a powerful motivator, textbook stuff. Sadness? That only slows you down. I got angry. I realized how many hours I had spent listening to sad songs, watching the same movies and thinking about how nice it would be to go back do things differently. No more. Embrace all the shit life throws at you, and use it to keep going.

This is what I learned, and the only piece of advice I have for you today: don't get sad, get angry instead. Anger will make you fight, will make you move, sadness will leave you stuck on a dark pit. I mean, we got a superhero that goes insanely badass when he gets angry, have you ever heard of SadMan? Worst hero ever. xD

Off-topic 2: during those sad days I gave a friend of mine the worst advice ever, I told him to stop pursuing the girl he loves, and instead to settle for a girl that has a crush on him. Not only did I basically tell him to quit fighting for his dreams, I also turned some girl into a consolation prize. My bad. Never stop going for what you really want, never settle for something you don't want. Fight!


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