August 20, 2016

Bad Mistakes


Have you ever heard someone say something along the lines of "If I had to do it all over again, I would do it all the same way"? Sounds cute, romantic even? I think that's a boring, borderline coward attitude, and, most of the time, a lie. I'm not saying I wouldn't make some of the same choices again, but living it all the exact same way? Where's the fun in that? I'd surely take more time to be with the ones that are no longer around, tell them a couple more times how much I love them. I'd also make some decisions much faster, waste less time. And the biggest one? I'd meet her sooner, and make sure we lasted longer. I guess, in a short way, I'd try to have less things to regret, and more happy moments.

Now, I wouldn't say I regret a lot of things, far from that. I have people that love me, and I love them back, family and friends alike. It's always been important for me to always do things my way, because I choose to do them. What do we all have at the end if not ourselves? Things won't always work the way we intend them to, but at least we should be the only ones to blame.

We're all humans, we all make mistakes. Sometimes, if we're lucky, we can fix them, at least make up for them. Some other times we really can't do anything about it, we messed things up and we can't fix it. Those mistakes are, for me, the really bad ones.

We should always try to make the best choices, unless there's something wrong with you and you actually want to mess things up. I do, at least I try to. The things is, there's something I like to call "lapsus stupidus", moments when your brain decides to go on vacation, coincidentally at times when a big important decision is to be made. I've had a lot of those. Don't feel bad if you have one, I find them quite common.

Given my "lapsus stupidus", and sometimes without them, I've made my small share of bad mistakes, I've hurt people close to me and I've been unable to make amends on that. We've all been in both ends of that situation, hurting and getting hurt, we all deal with either in our own way. In some cases it doesn't matter how much the one hurting the other tries to fix it, sometimes the person that got hurt just doesn't want it to be fixed. Forgiveness is optional, after all. The thing to remember is, don't feel bad if you can't make up for the stuff you've done, sometimes it's not up to you.

I could stop here and tell you "think about what you do, make smart choices", blabber. You'll mess up at some point even if you're 100% sure you won't, it happens. But, of course, do try and make few big mistakes if possible, it'll help you sleep better. I do want to say this, tho, even if you make a big mistake, one that you cannot fix, life goes on. Feel sad, cry, get angry, repeat as you please, do the whole process and them, move on. Sometimes you'll think back on it and it'll still hurt, but as time passes it'll start lo look like less and less of a big deal, until it won't be a bad mistake, not even a mistake, just something that happened. Bad mistakes do go away.

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